So what about those times when we are so entrenched in what we feel is being done “to” us that it seems impossible to “choose” how we are going to react? Sometimes it actually feels good to be that angry or even that sad. We find ourselves clinging to those feelings. We tell ourselves we’re “justified” and we have “the right” to feel that way. We mount a campaign to gather evidence in support of being less than happy. We often have friends and family spurring us on. But eventually we find ourselves at a crossroads, after a time we hunger for more than the emptiness that comes with negative emotions. Some people choose to dig in and become even angrier or even more engulfed in sadness, because for them they have held on to their anger or sadness for such a long time, they may not even remember what it feels like to actually be happy. As strange as it sounds, staying upset can be easier than choosing happiness because at least there is a certain degree of familiarity. For those folks, choosing happiness can feel like stepping off a cliff into the great unknown.
But for those of us who are “sick and tired and being sick and tired” and who really do want to change how we’re feeling, how do we go about making that choice? How do you just stop being angry or stop being sad? The first step sounds incredibly simple but it is anything but. The first step is being willing to let go; to let go of all the reasons we have for being angry; let go of all the evidence we’ve gathered supporting why we should be sad. Sometimes it means letting go of being right.
The central character in A Soul Less Broken eventually does grow weary of being a slave to her feelings and she must let go.
What do you have that you’re holding on to that stands between you and being happy? Are you willing to let it go?